Finding Forty; Day 372; 30 Rock Monster

The green eyed monster took a huge bite out of my dimpled ass and poisoned me this week.    I hate being jealous, but I am.

We've been watching a lot of 30 Rock reruns this summer and I find myself amazed and in awe of the level of creativity on that show.

I understand their sort of humor is an acquired taste, but it's a flavor my family relishes.   As I sit and listen to the absurd lines that are both written and expertly delivered, I yearn to do something that brilliant.

I'm actually funny in "real life", with a quick wit and a sharp tongue.  But when I sit down to write, all that pours forth are ponderings and deep thoughts.   I'm the Jack Handey of my generation, full of useless nuggets of wisdom, worry, and whatnot.

When I read other writers who are able to channel funny into their blogs or scripts, I crave that sort of giftedness and yet I can't escape my head.

I want to write about stupid things I've said or done that day, but instead I use this platform to work out my more melancholy and serious thoughts.   I know I want and need to write more this summer, so maybe I'll make a concerted effort to work on the humor.    It doesn't mean the somberness will dissipate, but I will try to balance more.

The characters on 30 Rock resonate with me.   I am at once Liz and Jenna combined; quirky and nerdy with a penchant for embarrassing myself while at the same time craving attention.   I think that is why I love the show as I do.   In so many ways, I think I could have written those lines because I've lived them.

So, funny it is.   Which is really so NOT funny.   The fact that I'm whining about wanting to be funny just emphasizes how far I have to go.

Oh well...at least I'm not crying about asshole men or my obsessive tendencies or drunk texting.   Although, I suspect there's huge humor in those moments too.   It's all in how you spin it.

Back off, Green Eyed Monster, I'm done with you.

Stay tuned for the summer experiment....