Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Behind This Wheel

I used to feel like I was at a crossroads.   Stopped, engine idling, but so very unsure of where to go.   Did I stay straight (and narrow), the easiest, most obvious path?   Or did I diverge somehow?   Fully, consciously, turning the wheel either one of the 'lesser' directions, the off the beaten path direction or the other?

For months, no years, I struggled with that decision.   I sat, my car essentially in park, as I pondered which road to take.   Miles of people lined up behind me.   Many were patient and waited for me to make my decision, while others politely and silently just eased on by.    There were a few though who weren't content with anything other than honking their horns incessantly and waving their clenched fists my direction.

I let those people really derail my decision, I must confess.

Time has passed and I let my engines cool and in the end, I chose my path.   I eased my foot off the brake, ever so gently, and turned the wheel in the least likely direction I would have ever imagined or chosen for myself.

I didn't plod onward.  I'd already tried that method for miles and miles and endless miles.   And while the ride was mostly smooth and agreeable, the scenery was monotonous and painful and mind and soul numbing.   With ALL due respect to my driver, or passenger, however you view it, I just could not continue down that road any longer.

I looked left and seriously pondered the road in that direction.   Just past the turn was a bend in the road and the trees shrouded the path into the unknown.   My heart squirmed, perhaps danced a bit, at the prospect of heading down that path.   But something stronger made me look in the opposite direction.

To the right.   The right.    I saw a road that unfurled, gloriously, before me.   With eyes full of wonder and hope and not much prodding, my car veered in that direction.   The road I saw held hope and wonder and bumps and treacherous curves, but still I ventured onward.     To the right, I saw my future, all of my untold dreams, unrealized hopes, all of the things in my life that I'd known were home but had never quite found the direction towards.

A few impatient people behind me blew past in a huff.   Many more sat behind me, honking their horns non stop.   But finally, and with no doubt at all in my mind, I turned right.


And I've never felt more at home behind this wheel.

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