Friday, December 10, 2010

Finding Forty, Day 196; Father Christmas

Friday morning and it's my weekend with the boys.  I didn't see them after school yesterday and I already miss them.   I need to move closer than 20 minutes away.

I went to get gas on Wednesday and my credit card was declined.   At first I thought it was the particular gas station, so I drove to another.   "Please see cashier" flashed on the screen.   The other place said "Please try another card".  

There is no other card to try.   Luckily I carry around a stash of emergency cash.   Luckily this happened when I was alone at a gas pump and not the evening before when I had $100 worth of groceries on the conveyor belt at the check out line.  

I am not above being poor, but I, well, I just would never want to have to go through that.

I am not sure the situation is fixed.  I  never heard from A one way or the other.  I know that's a burden for him, but a little communication would be nice.   I don't know about the business.  He continues to go and make things, but I think he's surviving on borrowed time at best.

I want to just move on or dive in or jump off or whatever metaphor you can envision for getting past all of this!

If we end up bankrupt, let's do it.  If we divorce, let's do it.  If we reconcile, let's do it.

I keep trying hard to just BE in the moment but I'm even finding it hard as I type this blog.

On an up note, I received an email yesterday morning from my dad that was amazing.  He wrote to say he was sending me money to help with Christmas.  I was so happy.   What was even more special were the things that he said in it.

I think I'll share it, it's too good not to.   When I read it, I do believe in the magic of Christmas.

Good morning Sweetie ; Hope things are going as well as can be expected and that A and the boys are fine . It was good to see you guys recently . Please send me your current address . In a week (payday) I will be sending you $1,000.00 for Christmas. Please give the boys their hundred , A a nice shirt and tie or sweater or something appropriate and you keep the rest to help you with Christmas . Of course I wish it were more as there is nothing I would not do for you . As you know you two girls are the love of my life and I am proud to be blessed with wonderful children .
The house is coming along and I think it will be  just right for me . Enjoy these next few days and don't forget to forward that address .


  1. That is wonderful that your father is able to help you out, Kate.

    Isn't it strange how no matter what our age is, our parents will still care for us as if we hadn't aged a day since we were kids? :-)

    I'm sorry that you had the credit card the end of last month, my account was practically below 50 euros (but that's because I was a bit reckless with my cash). We all have our good and bad moments, and money is one thing that will always come and go...and go...and GO. :-P

    Try not to stress too much in these next few weeks, hon. This is supposed to be the cheerful time of the year, so if all you can do for the moment is make a mug of hot chocolate, then do so!

    -Your Cheerleader

  2. How sweet! You have a great dad. Good post, Kate...sounds like you're coming along. :-)

  3. Such a sweet father!

    Hey Kate~I love to read your blog, as you know, and not sure if you want to accept this or not but I have given you a little blog award so if you want to.......

    Be sure & pick up your "Blog of Substance Award" at


  4. You are so fortunate to have a dad who loves you and is on the spot with help and emotional support!
    Believe in that magic of Christmas!
    And believe in how such favors are a lot more appreciated when they follow bad times.