Monday, November 15, 2010

Finding Forty, Day 171; Two Steps Up, One Step Back

So, if I'm being honest, the title of today's blog should be one step up, two steps back.  

R, my girl in Chi-town, always tells me that movement is good.  And this movement is good.  Tonight, at my friend's house, I feel happy and content.    I ate out alone tonight and I didn't even consider getting the food to go!

I walked into the restaurant, ordered my food, then sat down and ate.   I didn't even rush through the meal.

Of course, the entire time I was there, I was checking out the other patrons.  First of all, to see who else appeared to be single and secondly, well, isn't it obvious?  I was looking for cute guys.  Really, you ask?   Yes, I like to scope the scene.

So, I'm making progress.

Here is where I'm not.

First of all, did I mention I emailed S after seeing him the other day?  I needed to tell him how worried I was for him, how bad he looked (think concerned not catty), and how he truly needed help.  I sent it on Saturday and heard from him this afternoon.   I thought he might be mad that I called him out as an alcoholic, but he was jovial and in denial.   My heart fluttered a bit, actually.  Sadly.  But not enough to really shake me from my FORWARD motion.  I know I'm the dumb girl in the horror movie (thanks Nana), but maybe I can be Jamie Lee Curtis.  She survived those Halloween flicks (okay, the first one at least, I don't know about the sequels) and I will survive all of this too.   Look at her now, writing children's books and posing without make up in fashion mags.   She's strong and I can be too!

Secondly, in my new place, there's cable t.v.   Hold onto your hats, but...I'm addicted to the Bravo channel.   These Housewives of Beverly Hills and Atlanta and whatever other hood I can find to move into in the confines of my "progress" pad imagination are so freaking addicting!

The Housewives of Beverly Hills are incredibly over the top, with more plastic in them than my kids' playroom.  And yet I can't not watch and yell back at the t.v. at their insanity.

The Housewives of Atlanta are a bit more down to earth, but only by one level of atmosphere, say from the stratosphere to the mesosphere.

Either way, they are amusing!   I love the drama, the excess, the absurd, ridicularity of their lives.  I don't even think ridicularity is a word, but it's perfect for these women.

Maybe I love them because they inject that dose of normalcy in my life.

So, I'm moving, I'm walking.  Sometimes I stumble back, but other times I get forward.

Either way, I'm secretly, guiltily loving the journey!


  1. You're go erase his email address from your contact list!

    I can't believe you have an issue with dining alone. I used to travel quite a bit by myself for work. It's easy to grab and go with fast food, but I'd much rather have a great dining experience. I enjoy eating by can pick the restaurant you want and eat whatever you want with no commentary...even just dessert. I hope you learn to love spending time with just yourself.

    My guilty pleasure is also those reality shows, although RHBH is not one I watch regularly. I really enjoyed NY and NJ.

    Okay, stop reading your messages and go erase that email address...NOW!