Earlier today I researched a medical condition I have, which is not serious, but does alter my quality of life, at least for a short time each month. It can most likely be alleviated with a medical procedure, but I just can't really embrace the idea.
All of this got me to thinking about my 40 year old state of being. I feel like I'm in good health, but for kicks I thought I'd make a laundry list of everything that's going on with this "over the hill" body.
Bear in mind that most of these are self diagnosed, but really, who knows my body better?
To begin with, I think I'm in perimenopause. Already I'm experiencing several of the symptoms, including hot flashes (these just started this past weekend and trust me they will earn a spot for their very own blog), worsening of PMS (see blog from 2 days ago), irregular periods (see below), mood swings (see every other blog I write), and difficulty sleeping. If my mom were still alive I could confirm with her that she went through it earlier than most and I feel like I'm following in her footsteps. Honestly, none of this is a big deal as long as my precious libido stays intact. Oh how I do love me some sex.
To piggy back off the irregular periods, I have menorrhagia, which is a fancy way of saying I have severely heavy periods. I always have, but the older I get, the worse it is. Each month I can look forward to seriously fun adventures as I orchestrate my days around the unpredictability of this condition. Those of you close to me know how this effects my life and can attest to the upheaval I go through. This is to what I was referring earlier and I might possibly have an endometrial ablation before summer's end. Again, that's another blog for another day.
My back hurts all the time and I just can't figure it out. Admittedly, I've gained about 8 pounds in a year, but really could that cause the chronic lower back pain I have? I wouldn't think so, but this has jacked up my exercise, my ability to sleep well, and my faith that I'm indestructible. Okay, I knew I wasn't indestructible, but I like to pretend.
My right arm is numb, which could be residual from an "elevated first rib" diagnosis from last year. Don't even ask me. I had NO idea you had a freaking rib in your neck, but the pain starts there and pulsates down my arm. Seeing how my exercise routine lately has been shit, I feel certain my arm is numb from carrying around my beautiful, but ridiculous purse. It's insane how much the thing weighs and I'm embarrassed to imagine all of the crap I keep in it. I'd surely make Mary Poppins look like a lightweight.
Speaking of weight, I also have to add weight gain to the list. As stated, it's hovering around 8 pounds in a year and I'm having a bitch of a time getting it off. Granted, my stress and emotional status has been launched to Jupiter and back, but damn, you'd think a girl could drop a pound or ten and keep the fuckers off!
On my face I have perioral dermatitis. It's basically this lovely rash that is splotched right above my lip, next to my nose. At first I thought it was acne, but then it didn't go away. After battling it for a month, I went to the dermatologist and was prescribed a topical antibiotic. Apparently, it can take weeks before I'll know if the medicine works. Nice. I'll just buy stock in concealer and do my best to hide it.
Let's see...what else? My blood pressure is always great, heart seems fine, digestion system is like clockwork (considered blogging about that once), only get headaches after a big cry (which sadly means I have them quite often, but at least I know what triggers them). Overall, I'd say I'm pretty darn lucky.
As for my emotional health, well...I used to call myself crazy, but I think I'm leaving all that in the past. The more I ponder life and my place in it, the healthier I feel. I may make people uncomfortable with my frank take on things, but I try my best not to hide or run from the truths I know that exist for me. Some might call me crazy and if they do, I don't mind. It's kind of exciting to know that I unsettle people. But if crazy is bad, then, no, that's not me.
40. Not too bad. Not yet as great as I'd envisioned, but hey, the year's just getting started. I've got plenty of time to hang this laundry out to dry.
With healthy thoughts,
K
In 2010, I turned 40 and spent a great part of that year figuring out some serious stuff in my life. Newly 42, I'm still on the path of discovery but feel I've come quite far. This tiny space is my save haven, one of the only places I can come to work through my worries, fears, exaltations, and endeavors. Thank you to those who've helped me along the way and those of you who stop by to read my crazy thoughts. Enjoy!
I'm not sure what procedure you have tossed around but (and let's see if I can spell it correctly) I had a Uterine Oblation about 3 years ago. My periods were so bad...well, put it this way, I wore diapers every day of the month and carried around a bag of new ones and a bag for garbage every day. I worked in construction with a bunch of men and I was constantly active and moving so I didn't have the luxury of sitting down to help stop the flowage. It got so bad and I had become so severely animic (I spelt that wrong I'm sure) that my Gynie finally made an appointment with me (contrary to my making one with him)just to tell me that having the surgery was a LIFE decision and not one that is an option at this point. I am only about 2 years younger than you and I have to say it was the best thing I've done by far for my female issues.
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