This morning, I was texting with my best friend R and we were lamenting the men that have come in and out our our lives.
I asked her, "God, why are we drawn to inept men?" and she so wisely replied, "Because we don't like mediocre existences."
Her name isn't God, but sometimes I do feel like she is connected with a higher being. She is a very wise and calming presence for me.
She continued with, "Remember what Grandma said in Parenthood about the rollercoaster?"
And I do! It's one of my all time favorite movie scenes, simply because it sums up how I've always felt about my life, but particularly moreso the older I get.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATUvyJNvFk0
Life IS messy!
S wanted guarantees and walked away from something stellar because I couldn't give them to him. He wasn't able to trust his instincts, trust our connection, trust our love enough to jump onboard and strap into that rollercoaster to go for the ride of his life. The merry-go-round seems more his style.
It's such a shame, honestly. Those dips and drops and turns and twists are just like Grandma said.
I like the rollercoaster too.
Whee!
K
In 2010, I turned 40 and spent a great part of that year figuring out some serious stuff in my life. Newly 42, I'm still on the path of discovery but feel I've come quite far. This tiny space is my save haven, one of the only places I can come to work through my worries, fears, exaltations, and endeavors. Thank you to those who've helped me along the way and those of you who stop by to read my crazy thoughts. Enjoy!
After a long time on the merry-go-round with someone, I jumped off and got on the roller coaster. I'm having more fun despite the empty seat beside me, and I don't get sick to my stomach anymore.
ReplyDeleteI'm still contemplating on getting on the rollercoaster because I'm scared
ReplyDelete