Friday, June 25, 2010

Finding Forty, Day 30; Life is Messy

This morning, I was texting with my best friend R and we were lamenting the men that have come in and out our our lives.

I asked her, "God, why are we drawn to inept men?" and she so wisely replied, "Because we don't like mediocre existences."

Her name isn't God, but sometimes I do feel like she is connected with a higher being. She is a very wise and calming presence for me.

She continued with, "Remember what Grandma said in Parenthood about the rollercoaster?"

And I do! It's one of my all time favorite movie scenes, simply because it sums up how I've always felt about my life, but particularly moreso the older I get.

Life IS messy!

S wanted guarantees and walked away from something stellar because I couldn't give them to him. He wasn't able to trust his instincts, trust our connection, trust our love enough to jump onboard and strap into that rollercoaster to go for the ride of his life. The merry-go-round seems more his style.

It's such a shame, honestly. Those dips and drops and turns and twists are just like Grandma said.

I like the rollercoaster too.



  1. After a long time on the merry-go-round with someone, I jumped off and got on the roller coaster. I'm having more fun despite the empty seat beside me, and I don't get sick to my stomach anymore.

  2. I'm still contemplating on getting on the rollercoaster because I'm scared