I'm agitated. I think I have been all morning and now it's sliding into the afternoon.
The thing is, I can be a really funny person, I love to laugh, but mostly I feel like Eeyore all the time, just bitching and moping about everything.
When I feel agitated, I get this feeling, like I need to shed my skin. I just can't stand things and want to pull my hair out.
But, then I feel guilty for complaining and that just piles onto the agitation.
Maybe I'm grumpy because at this very moment, it's pouring rain outside and I happen to have my own three kids, plus SEVEN more inside right now. Yes, I have TEN kids in my crackerbox of a house.
It's no wonder I'm in the midst of a mid life crisis. When the storm clears and the kids head home, I'll be out of about $100 worth of groceries and my house will look like a tornado hit it, despite my best efforts to get them to clean up.
Don't get me wrong. I wanted kids and LOVE mine. Shit, I even love the neighbors' kids, I'm just tired and mopey and want peace and quiet.
If I get inspired, I'll blog better later.
In 2010, I turned 40 and spent a great part of that year figuring out some serious stuff in my life. Newly 42, I'm still on the path of discovery but feel I've come quite far. This tiny space is my save haven, one of the only places I can come to work through my worries, fears, exaltations, and endeavors. Thank you to those who've helped me along the way and those of you who stop by to read my crazy thoughts. Enjoy!
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