Thursday, July 22, 2010

Finding Forty, Day 56; First Dates

Today is my first date with a new therapist.   My previous and one and only is moving next month to Kenya.   It's not really the patient's role to ask the doctor why she is embarking on such adventurous and radical life changes, but damn, I'd sure like to know.

Either way, it leaves me high and dry in the self help, having a neutral person to pay to listen to me arena.

Kenya gave me the names of three women to begin my initial search for a replacement, so I immediately got busy.

The first person sounded good enough because she has experience working with couples and individuals, but she also seemed fairly "run of the mill".

Second choice was a bit more interesting, as she highlighted the fact that she particularly enjoyed working with people who seemed to be at a creative impasse in their life.    My juice began to flow a bit when I read that part, but I soon came to my senses.   Creativity issues aren't my problem.   I'm having relationship, love, life issues.   This blog is meeting my creative needs just fine and if it doesn't, I'll pull out my scrapbooks that I am only five years behind on and get to scrappin'.

The last therapist I researched sparked me immediately.   Her photo showed a fresh faced, plain jane sort of gal with a close cropped haircut.   The fact that she was cute, but not TOO pretty seemed safe to me.  Don't even ask me why.   Maybe I don't want to pay someone $100 an hour if I'm going to sit across from her and feel physically inferior.  Ridiculous, I know.

But, more than her looks, I liked what she had to say.   When I read the following, I felt as if she was speaking directly to me.

Do you feel stuck?

Sometimes it can be hard to know where you want to go in life. You feel stuck in old patterns that hold you back from living the life you want.

My passion is creating a space where you can feel safe and understood while you explore those areas of your life that aren't working.

You deserve to live the life you want. I can help you build that.

Her self description piqued my interest as well.

I am quirky, funky, and unconventional. I am not your typical therapist. I work with a mixture of practice techniques, fitting the style of therapy to the need of the individual. I regularly use feminist theory, Buddhist theory, cognitive behavioral theory, existential theory, and more. 

This must be what it feels like to plod through the millions of available singles on internet dating sites.   And I must confess, I have butterflies in my stomach thinking about meeting her for the first time.

"What should I wear?"   "Will she like me?"   "I hope I don't look stupid or turn her off!"  are the thoughts that are racing through my mind.

Superficial, yes.   I know.  But I truly want this to be a good match so I can just get on with the work at hand.

Surely she'll like me, right?

After all, for this date, I'm paying. 



  1. Ah yes. I was seeing a therapist myself and i remember thinking "Will he like me?" etc...Of course I got along with him, but now that he is moving, I am stuck with finding another one.

    I hope everything is going well with your new therapist, and I really like that comic at the end.

    -Coffee bean

  2. Of course she'll like you!

    Wishing you all the best...

  3. At least your therapist probably will never say to you 'You know, you are really starting to piss me off...'

  4. i never really got on well with therapists and shrinks .. after a few appointments of them pissing me off id just mess with their heads ... hope yours goes well though