Today was just a day. Nothing grand, nothing horrible. I am thankful for this day, though.
The good thing is that I lived well. I worked, spent time with my family, did chores, even had a bit of me time. I ate well and feel healthy. All things that will help me sleep better tonight.
The bad (there is probably a better adjective for it) thing is that I thought of S a great deal today, really, desperately wanted to call him and hear his voice. I'm trying hard to focus on A, so I don't want thoughts of S creeping in. It's been 33 days since we last talked. Will I count forever? I still cannot fathom never hearing his voice again.
It hit me today that I am loved. Seems so stupid that I could ever forget, but I am loved. Was even loved by S once upon a time and love is always a good thing.
Just wish I didn't miss him like I do.
I have to push him aside.
People are counting on me to.
All this counting...
In 2010, I turned 40 and spent a great part of that year figuring out some serious stuff in my life. Newly 42, I'm still on the path of discovery but feel I've come quite far. This tiny space is my save haven, one of the only places I can come to work through my worries, fears, exaltations, and endeavors. Thank you to those who've helped me along the way and those of you who stop by to read my crazy thoughts. Enjoy!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Count_von_Count
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